Doing for Others for the Right Reasons

Wow, So thru all this learning to do what makes me happy I realized by myself and by reading that life doesn't have to be about helping others. Well I took that to extremes and here is what happened.

I have heard from alot of books and experts " why would you choose to help someone instead of allow them to be where they are?" So I stopped and realized that to a point I was helping others and then getting frustrated when they were not grateful enough or just fell right back into something that I just helped them get out of. So in this process I realized that I was doing things for me, to make me feel better and when it didn't happen the way I wanted it upset me. So I decided that it is not my "job" to make others better, it is on them.

Recently, aka yesterday, our niece moved in with us because she at 20 has had some medical problems and has been living with friends for quite a while and her Dad, my BIL, moved her here and she is staying with us. I literally threw a fit about it. I could not believe that he was expecting us to take on this big kid and I was basically being a selfish bitch about it because it was not my job to get her on her feet.

That is when it hit me it is ok to be nice and help out as long as you are not expecting something from it personally. If you like to help others that are in need and it makes you happy regardless of the outcome then go for it. I makes me feel alot better to be nice in a difficult situation for her than to be unwelcoming and digging in my heals. I like to feel good so I choose the path that makes me feel best.

My latest lesson on how I feel

We all have those rough weeks, days, hours where we know that we need to turn around and go with the flow but for some reason we would rather wallow in our misery for just a bit. Well folks that is where I was just a few short days ago and this is what I learned from it.

I got mad at my husband for not stepping up to the plate like I think he should to make his business work the way I think it should. Right there I am not minding my own business and what I was really doing was getting frustrated with myself for not doing what I need to do with my business, but I am pretty much perfect so it must be him. LOL.... Not!

In my inability to admit it was me that I was frustrated with I ended up calling my Aunt for a job that I did not want but thought I had better get to make it all better. 2 days later she offered it to me and that is when I started to freak out. You see I have been a stay at home mom for about 12 years now and the thought of not being here on days off, Christmas and Spring breaks, when they get off the bus.... the list goes on, well that was stressing me out.

Just about when I was stressed out to the max I sat my husband down and said what do you think and he just looked at me and said how does taking this job feel to you? OMG is that not what I have been studying all this time and here it was coming from my husband. I looked at him and said it feels horrible. And there was my answer and lesson learned.

It is that simple, when you are in any situation if it feels good go for it, if it feels bad turn the other way and find another option.

I love that man :o)